things r so fucked
I know i was supposed to post the letter, but i could\'nt, i\'ve just been sulking at home, and drinking vodka, jas had a go at me, but i told her to fuck off, i don\'t wanna listen to anyone right now, only him, just him,
shit i feel dizzy,, my head spins, round roun in circles.
9.55 pm
fuck i\'ve totally blown it, lucus hates me more than ever, he came over at 6.30 pm, and he saw me sitting on the sofa, totally high, he had a look of total disgust on his face.
this is wat he had to say:
I felf really bad the other day, for walking away like that, i needed some time to think, so i after thinking i realised i still loved you, and had to come here to sort things about.
But after seeing you like this, i can\'t believe what i saw in you in the first place, how could you stoop so low, were things so bad that you had to resort to drinking?
I felt so low, i could\'nt even look him in the eye, i just sat there listening to him lecture me.
do your parents even know about this, think how bad their gonna feel when they find out you\'ve been drinkin alcohol, why chlo, why?
So i told him, \" i wanted some fun in my life, i\'ve always been boring, i just wanted to do new things\".
You felt bored so you took up drinking, how pathetic is that, theres other ways of having fun you know, you disgust me.
I\'m sorry chlo, but after this, i don\'t see a future for us together, i can\'t be with someone who turns to alcohol for fun, i\'m sorry.
Lucus don\'t be like that, i\'ll stop drinking i swear, i love you soo much i\'ll do anything for you.
\" no i ain\'t gonna change my mind, so live with it, and don\'t ever try phoning me again, i\'ll drop your things off tommorrow,
good bye chlo, it was good while it lasted, its a shame you had to go and spoil things.
Lucus was being soo old fashioned, leaving me just coz a had a drink, so i told him to get lost as well, but i did\'nt really mean it, i was just angry.
Have i really stuffed things up for good, ohh shit, why did i have to fuckin start drinking, lucus is right, i should\'nt have drunk it.