cutting deep
Last night i did something really silly, but i was just so upset, and at the time i did'nt really realise i was doing it.
After i finished typing last nights entry, jas came to my room, and started having a go at me, saying that these days all i ever did was go to london, did'nt i have anything better to do, but its not my fault she feels that way i did ask her to come with us.
Then she went on about, if i was trying to make a pass at jason, and that she knew that i fancied him, for god sakes hes not even my type, so while i was sitting on the windowcil, i had this sharpe scissor in my hand, jas kept on going on about it, she made me feel like scum, so without even realising, i had deeply cut lucus's intials in my left arm, and a few other cuts, it was jas who shouted at me, and made me realise what i was doing, when i looked at my arm, it was covered with blood, which scard me, becoz i had'nt even felt it.
Jas rushed downstairs to get plasters and dettol, but i would'nt let her touch me, i started crying and swore to her that i did'nt have a thing for jason, all i was trying to do was cheer her up, after she'd been ill.
So she too apologised for doubting me.
my left arm, is kinda sore now, its covered in a plaster, so i don't what its gonna look like.
jas says i still have feelings for lucus, otherwise i would'nt have carved his intials so deep in my skin.