bck in london
So yeh, im bck in london, but i had a long and tearfull journy, and i'm so tired now.
Me and jas had an argument on the coach, and we did'nt speak to each other for the whole two hours.
Apparently when drew came over, he was asking jas questions, when i was upstairs, regarding, me and lucus and she was telling him, that it was me who made a big deal out of nothing, and i heard everything she was telling him, she was like talking against me, how could she do that to me, i thought she was on my side, it made me soo angry her talking about me, i started chuking things around, and crying, i felt like i could'nt breath, and wanted to do something to myself to make me calm down, and the only thing i could see was a needle, so i begin screping at my arm, until i could see some blood, i know it was wrong to do so, but it made me feel so much better, i felt so calm, it took all my anger away.
When it was time to go to the station, i remained calm and happy as if i'd never heard any of the converstation. On the way f**kin jas had to collect some photos and we were getting late, so while me and jas waited in the cab, drew ran to get the pictures, when he finally arrived back with the pictures he was out of breath, and said as he was running so fast, he dropped his phone on the floor and the screen smeared up, i felt really bad like it was my fault, so as me and drew have the same phone, i said that he could take mine, he said no he could'nt do that, but in the end he finally took it and gave me a big hug.
While we waited for the luggage to be loaded on to the coach, it was extremly upsetting looking at my surroundings, the bulidings, the poeple, the cars, i mean this is the place where me and lucus broke up, southampton is the place where everything went wrong, it was'nt supposed to end like this, i don't know if i should hate this place or love it , i've had good times here and bad, when i first came here i was so happy, everything felt like bliss, and now theres nothing, but a mistake.
After Drew left and we'd got on the coach, i finally asked jas, wat had she been telling drew about me, and she said nothing, i said lier i heard you telling him that it was my fault, so she said that, Drew had asked her the reason why me and Lucus broke up, so she was just explaining to him what had happened, but she had no right talking about me like that, i had a go at her, and told her, that yeh it was my fault that things got messed up, but she did'nt have to go around telling everyone, you don't know how that felt, so for the rest of the journey we just sat in silence, and i cried as i looked out of the window.
After we got out of Victoria coach station, we had so much luggage, there was a long queue for the cabz, and we could'nt find Victoria underground, and with me and jas not talking it was abit hard communicating, so we had no choice but to talk to each other, she apologized, and so did i, and to cut the storey short,. we still could'nt find the underground, but luckily we saw and empty cabz, which dropped us both home, but he did charge us £20 which is alot i think, but who cares as long as i got home.
Shit i haven't seen adam in like ages, and according to him, i'm still in southampton, he does'nt know i'm back in london, i was so worked up about things i forgot to tell him, i really wanted to invite him to the party, but since drew does'nt like him, i did'nt bother, but its not totally my fault, adam's neva rung me either, so well he can't blame me, but i do miss him, he was a good mate.
Well i'm gonna go and get some sleep now, coz tommorrow i'll have to decide wat i'm gonna do with lucus.